24 January, 2008

it's 7 degrees in colorado right now. i actually might freeze when i move.
to say i am excited might be an overstatement. but then again, to say i'm afraid would be untrue as well. i'm hopeful.

the last 3 years have been wilderness years for me. my own exile from--what?  naively made plans? stubbornly held expectations? i did the work set before me---collegiate and cosmically spiritual alike, and i found myself in a comfortable, slow-motion routine of emotional and spiritual bulimia: starving for some peace, some promise and binging on the bites sent my way. but somewhere along the way, i realized that i was only kidding myself thinking that this life, this Love, this journey to the future was a sprint.

i know it's cliche to say so, but i've changed. and it's been hard work, changing has. it's hard work to let go of love, to face your wrong choices, and set free every last thing you thought you knew for sure. but i jumped in. i always do. and He met me like He always does--with equal parts question and answer. with an overwhelming message: 'look around.  understand to be understood. let me pave the way for you. but be sure follow where I lead.' i didn't think i was to take the last part literally. and yet, in a week and half i go.
how will he find me?

2 comments:

Nicole said...

He won't need to find you. He will jump in your suitcase when you aren't looking and you will be very excited to see Him when you get there! I hope you enjoy your like in Colorado. Keep my updated and it would be great to visit you there! I hope you are doing well:)

joyful. said...

dude, i totally rock that uniform every single day. it's stained and everything. the best part is probably that it's like 10 sizes too big for me. i think they gave me the same size as chris, only he's over 6 feet tall. and they wanted to give me a bigger one. i feel that there might be an underlying message...